Damn Cardinals

O well...I was an Astros fan for a brief period in Junior High (before the strike)...Bagwell was one of my favorite players back then--i guess its ok that he and Biggio get to finally go to the series.

on church politics

the title of this blog may mis-lead you, this post is not going to be on church politics...i just wanted to say that i hate church politics. (especially small country church politics). i keep telling myself that this is a good learning experience--i hope so.

Did you call her a b*tch

Last week the one of the dumbest things that has ever happened to me--happened to me. One of Courtney's good friends was in town for the weekend...she likes to go bar hopping, so we were tagging along and we went to a dance club called Hootchy's (i should have known by the name that it wasn't a good place to go). Anyway we were there just sitting down hanging out minding our own business when we decided to leave...this is where the stupid thing happens...

we walk by some guy who is obviously drunk and he looks at me and tells me that his friend told him that i called his girl a bitch. (I don't know why he had that idea)...but he was really pushy and told me that i called this girl a bitch. Well he asked me to apologize to her (this was about the time where the rest of his posse comes over and corners me) i told him that i would apologize just so i could get myself out of the corner i was in (i was literally in a corner)...that is about the time when amy (courtney's friend) starts in and proceeds to tell this man that i don't have to apologize because i did not do anything...the guy corners me more and will not let me through (this is when one of his posse asks me if i called her that--i told him that i didn't--and he let me by on his side...) the drunk guy tried to follow me, but he could not get through the crowd. We left right away.

This event may seem harmless when it is written down, but it was actually a little scary. I can't really describe the emotions that i was feeling at the time...i was scared, mad, and disappointed all at once...i would like to think that i learned something, but i don't think that i did.

Un-original

I have recently come to realize that i am an un-original person...Everything that I have learned and everthing that I have ever thought have been ideas that were not originally mine...Everything that i believe about anything has been taught to me (my great fashion sense, my love for tv, and even my ideas about God). With this in mind, I have also come to the realization that everything I think I know is based upon the different things that i am currently reading/learning/hearing/wrestling with.

I say all of this to say that over the years there has been a major shift/change in the way that I view/think about/teach about God...My view of God now is totally different than it was 3 years ago--which is not necessarily a bad thing (i think it's a very good thing), but it makes me think and second guess what i teach now and makes me very insecure about myself and the way that I think (i feel this way because i wonder if in 3 more years maybe i will have another shift in the way that i think...what will this mean for what i am teaching now--will it all be useless?) This is affecting me right now because i feel like i don't really know anything about anything--and what i teach might hurt more than it helps...hopefully that is not the case

Are you going to heaven?

Yesterday was an all day music festival in Fairfield, IL called "Godfest" (i am not a real big fan of the name). Anyway there were a bunch of different vendors and tents with Christian T-shirts (those people who come up with those shirts are so clever..) there was also a trailor that was known as the "God Mobile"--the God Mobile was a little trailor/booth that some people from Evansville, IN brought (from what i hear they travel to a lot of different festivals and events...) On the side of the trailor there was a big sign that said "Are You Going To Heaven? Two Question Test...answer revealed. Unfortunately we were sitting right by the booth so i had to bear reading the sign and watching kid after kid go and "take the test"...the test by the way was "are you going to heaven" and "how do you know" after answering these questions the person taking the test (testee) was then taken through the "plan of salvation" and was given a tract to take home.

I don't know what you think, but i don't think that scaring kids into thinking they are going to hell is a really good idea...not only do they live their lives in fear that they will go to hell...but they end up thinking that heaven is the point of salvation. I have more to say on this, but not now.

It's been a good year

This past year has been one of confusion and frustration...with crying and laughter...it has been one that at times the future seemed so bright--but also at times it seemed so dark. But despite all of the ups and downs, this past year has been the best year of my life...and this Saturday my wife and I will be celebrating our first year of marriage. I love you Courtney. Thank you for giving me the best year of marriage that I could have hoped for.

UPDATE

its been a while since i have written, so this is an update on my life. courtney and i have been renting a house in mt vernon for the past few months...this fall she will be attending siuc to pursue a master's degree in couseling. i am currrently working as the associate minister at a church in the area. i may also attend school in the fall, but it would be to get my teacher certification. other than that we have just been hangin out. we finally got the internet last week so i might start blogging again. i guess we'll see. hasta