Have a Christ-y Christ-y Christmas

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night

Just so you know...

Just so you know...i have been lifting weights and i am frickin huge

Just so you know...my birthday is coming up in three weeks

Just so you know...i wear a medium and like the color blue (in case you get in the gift giving spirit)

Just so you know...i also like DVD's and CD's and books (all stuff that i cannot afford)


That is all of the creativity that i can muster today...My mind is not very sharp in the morning, or at noon for that matter...just so you know

My sack just fell off

Once again this blog post is about how much of a sissy that i have become (because some of you have not been convinced yet)...last night my wife and i went to rent a movie--it was her turn so i let her pick--she picked a movie that i was dreading to watch (it is called Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), but it is one that i very much enjoyed. Not only did the movie make me laugh, but it made me tear up a couple of times. Although it was cheesy and cliche in some places, overall it was a good movie.
I am no longer a man

A Confession

I have a confession to make...i am not the person that i have been portraying. Most of you know me as a "manly man" (maybe a bit of sarcasm there), but i am here to confess that i am not the manly man that i have been portraying--here it goes...its hard for me to say this, but i have to. My favorite TV show is Gilmore Girls. There, I said it. Sorry to make you all believe that i am anything other than a sissy.

I'm back

Nothing is official yet, but next year Courtney and I are moving to Carbondale...right now she is driving there 3 days a week (its an hour drive) and it is costing a lot a money in gas--and putting a lot of milage on her car...She will have a year head start on me, but i am going to enroll in the masters program with her...but like i said, nothing is official yet.

Damn Cardinals

O well...I was an Astros fan for a brief period in Junior High (before the strike)...Bagwell was one of my favorite players back then--i guess its ok that he and Biggio get to finally go to the series.

on church politics

the title of this blog may mis-lead you, this post is not going to be on church politics...i just wanted to say that i hate church politics. (especially small country church politics). i keep telling myself that this is a good learning experience--i hope so.

Did you call her a b*tch

Last week the one of the dumbest things that has ever happened to me--happened to me. One of Courtney's good friends was in town for the weekend...she likes to go bar hopping, so we were tagging along and we went to a dance club called Hootchy's (i should have known by the name that it wasn't a good place to go). Anyway we were there just sitting down hanging out minding our own business when we decided to leave...this is where the stupid thing happens...

we walk by some guy who is obviously drunk and he looks at me and tells me that his friend told him that i called his girl a bitch. (I don't know why he had that idea)...but he was really pushy and told me that i called this girl a bitch. Well he asked me to apologize to her (this was about the time where the rest of his posse comes over and corners me) i told him that i would apologize just so i could get myself out of the corner i was in (i was literally in a corner)...that is about the time when amy (courtney's friend) starts in and proceeds to tell this man that i don't have to apologize because i did not do anything...the guy corners me more and will not let me through (this is when one of his posse asks me if i called her that--i told him that i didn't--and he let me by on his side...) the drunk guy tried to follow me, but he could not get through the crowd. We left right away.

This event may seem harmless when it is written down, but it was actually a little scary. I can't really describe the emotions that i was feeling at the time...i was scared, mad, and disappointed all at once...i would like to think that i learned something, but i don't think that i did.

Un-original

I have recently come to realize that i am an un-original person...Everything that I have learned and everthing that I have ever thought have been ideas that were not originally mine...Everything that i believe about anything has been taught to me (my great fashion sense, my love for tv, and even my ideas about God). With this in mind, I have also come to the realization that everything I think I know is based upon the different things that i am currently reading/learning/hearing/wrestling with.

I say all of this to say that over the years there has been a major shift/change in the way that I view/think about/teach about God...My view of God now is totally different than it was 3 years ago--which is not necessarily a bad thing (i think it's a very good thing), but it makes me think and second guess what i teach now and makes me very insecure about myself and the way that I think (i feel this way because i wonder if in 3 more years maybe i will have another shift in the way that i think...what will this mean for what i am teaching now--will it all be useless?) This is affecting me right now because i feel like i don't really know anything about anything--and what i teach might hurt more than it helps...hopefully that is not the case

Are you going to heaven?

Yesterday was an all day music festival in Fairfield, IL called "Godfest" (i am not a real big fan of the name). Anyway there were a bunch of different vendors and tents with Christian T-shirts (those people who come up with those shirts are so clever..) there was also a trailor that was known as the "God Mobile"--the God Mobile was a little trailor/booth that some people from Evansville, IN brought (from what i hear they travel to a lot of different festivals and events...) On the side of the trailor there was a big sign that said "Are You Going To Heaven? Two Question Test...answer revealed. Unfortunately we were sitting right by the booth so i had to bear reading the sign and watching kid after kid go and "take the test"...the test by the way was "are you going to heaven" and "how do you know" after answering these questions the person taking the test (testee) was then taken through the "plan of salvation" and was given a tract to take home.

I don't know what you think, but i don't think that scaring kids into thinking they are going to hell is a really good idea...not only do they live their lives in fear that they will go to hell...but they end up thinking that heaven is the point of salvation. I have more to say on this, but not now.

It's been a good year

This past year has been one of confusion and frustration...with crying and laughter...it has been one that at times the future seemed so bright--but also at times it seemed so dark. But despite all of the ups and downs, this past year has been the best year of my life...and this Saturday my wife and I will be celebrating our first year of marriage. I love you Courtney. Thank you for giving me the best year of marriage that I could have hoped for.

UPDATE

its been a while since i have written, so this is an update on my life. courtney and i have been renting a house in mt vernon for the past few months...this fall she will be attending siuc to pursue a master's degree in couseling. i am currrently working as the associate minister at a church in the area. i may also attend school in the fall, but it would be to get my teacher certification. other than that we have just been hangin out. we finally got the internet last week so i might start blogging again. i guess we'll see. hasta

WEEZER

Currently i am working as the asst. manager at a music store in the wonderful times square mall of mt. vernon...one of the perks of working in a music store is getting a hold of music before the masses...weezer comes out with a new cd on tuesday and i got a hold of one early, and its everything thing that i thought that it could be.

So il

looks like courtney and i will officially be staying in so. IL for a little while, she finally got accepted into the graduate program at SIUC. On another note, in case you (if anybody actually reads this) notice, this is two blogs in the same day...that is unheard of for me, the only way that happens is when I go work and vomit in the trash-can...i think i'm sick

i am an idiot

i did the stupidest thing last week...i ordered some books off of amazon, something i haven't done in a year. anyway, i was so excited about getting my books that i did not realize that the shipping address was wrong. i accidentaly had the books shipped to LCC. i emailed amazon a couple of hours later and they immediately emailed me back and said "you're screwed." luckily i still know some people in lincoln who are actually responsible (anthony) and can be counted on. so i received my books this week and i am excited. thank you anthony for allowing me to do stupid things.

i am so confused

just when i thought things were looking real bad...something unexpected happens (something that seems too good to be true) and things start to look up again...i really am not enjoying this emotinal roller-coaster that i have been on lately, but i guess that emotion (good or bad) is better than none at all. i'll know more about this opportunity later this week.

what the f%$#

The past couple of months have been a waiting period between one transition in my life, to the next. Today we were faced with an awesome opportunity and almost simultaneously it was taken away...not only was it taken away, but we are actually skrewed because of this non-opportunity. I don't know what to do. I feel lost and helpless. This day has really sucked--but after sitting here feeling sorry for myself (and for my wife) i have realized that i am not the main character in this story. Maybe later i'll be able to sit back and see how selfish i have become with my life and my problems...maybe i'll be able to realize (cliche' and all) that it's not about me. I am ashamed for being so selfish.

My apologies

I realized today why i read blogs...to stay in touch with people, to see what is going on in their lives...i also realized that i have not been fair in doing this because i have not let others see what is going on in my life, and for that--i am sorry.

2nd place

i was at work today from 12-9:15 just waiting to get home and see illinois beat north carolina, but contrary to what i was hoping for we ended up getting second...which isn't all that bad, but it's not the end that i wanted to see.

the second place finish makes two of my favorite teams in a row that have made it down to the end of the season and choked (go cardinals).

Thursdays

Thursdays are beginning to become my favorite day of the week. I work until 5 and then at 7 we have small group, and then at 11 i have poker night. All of my possible needs are met in the same day...my physical, emotional, social, spiritual, intellectual and not to mention my gambling needs. I love it--i might be happier if i would have done better in poker however.

Practice

I know that nobody read's my blog or even has the sight to it...i don't even know the sight, but i am writing this for practice for when i start to blog for "real." since i don't have or need an audience this is going to be something i do when i am bored, not something i do to get people's reactions to interesting things that i think or read (since i am not really good at either of those things)...so if you stumble across my blog accidentally and you want to read more--don't tell me, because i don't care.